I made a tiny person: ONE YEAR!

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BRB BALLING MY FUCKIN EYES OUT because OUR BABY IS A TODDLER 😭😭😭😭

Wow. One freakin year old. Damn.

This year FLEW by, and I am an emotional wreck when I think about how fast it went. But, I’ve delivered 11 months worth of semi-comical monthly updates, and I’ll be damned if I start getting all mushy-gushy bullshit on the final update. So…you’re welcome.

Ro has successfully learned how to communicate her wants and needs. Please see below examples:

-Ro needs to sleep. Mom or Dad tries to put her down for a nap. Meltdown ensues because “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT GOING TO TAKE A NAP TOO? WHAT KIND OF FUN SHIT DO YA GOT PLANNED ONCE I PASS OUT?!!?! I’M NOT MISSING THAT SHIT!!!” Mom or Dad pretends to nap also. Turns into a real nap. Nothing is accomplished. Baby wakes up 35 minutes later.

-Ro wants to be picked up. Mom or Dad picks her up. Meltdown ensues because “I DON’T WANT TO BE PICKED UP!!! HOW DARE YOU PICK ME UP?!?”

-Ro needs a clean diaper. Mom or Dad attempts to remove poo diaper + replace with a clean diaper. Meltdown ensues because “THAT POO IS A PART OF ME AND I NEED IT!!!! IT’S MINE!!!!!!!! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE IT FROM ME?!?!” Finally get poo diaper off + in trash, now she decides she doesn’t need a clean one + runs around the room pants-less like some kind of 80s-rock-band groupie.

-Ro wants to climb something. Claws your face off using you as a human jungle gym. Meltdown ensues because “I WANT TO GET DOWN NOW!!!!” Claws your face off a second time because she wants to climb again. And again. And again. And again.

Thank you all for your attention these past 12 months. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled program.

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